This lil piggie won't wean, wean, wean

[mamagotcha]

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMayJun95p86.html

Some folks have hinted that my California trip would be a good time to wean. I probably won't, and this article explains why. Just an FYI... nobody's been pushy at all about it.

Comments

[kenoster.livejournal.com]

What is the argument against weaning later?

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

People are pretty freaked out at a nursing toddler these days. It's the whole sexualization of boobs thing our society has.

Really, though, I'm not the best person to answer that, because I have no idea why anyone would want to prevent their kid from getting all the good things milk gives 'em!

[qarin.livejournal.com]

Well, there are a number of reasons one might decide for one's own kid that they want to prevent their kid from getting all of the good things milk gives them (that is, there are a number of personal reasons to wean earlier-than-later, say RIGHT NOW GET OFF OF ME YOU'RE MAKING TEETH MARKS CAN YOU SEE THAT?? oops. Tangent. Ow.).

What I have no idea about is why anyone cares that someone ELSE'S child is getting those good things. Why is anyone hinting anything to you about when and how to wean? Do they think you are unfamiliar with the nursing and weaning processes and need their help to let you know when good Weaning Opportunities present themselves?

[mh75.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure why you care what other people do - at least, other people that you don't know. You may care what your friends do, because its hard to not care about choices they are making that affect them.

Which is one reason you might not follow child-led-weaning. Breast feeding is demanding and can be very disruptive to the adult members of a family (and to other children). If breast feeding gets to the point where it is causing more detriment (say, by reducing the amount of sleep a mom is getting, making her a less-good mom in other ways) it is time for the mom to take control over the situation. That may result in weaning, or in some limits on breast feeding that are not child-led.

Of course, i believe that an unhealthy mom can not also be a good mom. Le Leche appears not to believe that at all, so... maybe its philosophical.

[moodyfoodie.livejournal.com]

I don't suppose that I *care* as much as I know that people aren't getting the support and resources to give breastfeeding a decent shot. Not so much on the west coast... they seem to have developed a pretty healthy attitude towards bfeeding there. Out here, though, is a different story.

And the people who have been asking me deserve a reply, and I wanted to give them a little info as to where I'm coming from, given that my choice is so far from the mainstream that they represent.

I also don't necessarily do child-led weaning. Did I give that impression? Sorry. I was talking about why I would choose to continue breastfeeding long after most other American moms quit. But I can assure you that I am the one who gets fed-up and distracts my little one away from the boob quite often. I can tell he still needs it, and we're headed towards an equilibrium we can both live with.

Yeah, I never really got into the whole LLL thing. I can certainly see why it's a draw for some gals, but it was just a little too ... structured? strict? ... for me. I know they provide a LOT of good info, though, so I'm behind 'em all the way.

Breastfeeding is a dance. Both partners have needs and desires, and the whole breastfeeding relationship is a long negotiation of who gets what when.

[mh75.livejournal.com]

Oh, i didn't mean 'you' as in Katje, i meant 'you' as in 'one'. I think i get why you were posting information about breast feeding, but, i thought i'd answer someone's question about why someone may urge a friend to stop breast feeding.

Its frustrating to see some of my friends be so afraid to say no to their little one that they end up driving themsevles crazy. Having come from a mom who sacrifice so much for us kids, i honestly look back and think we would have been better off if she had occasionally decided to take care of herself, which is part of the reason i feel strongly about this.

I'm still wading through my LLL book (i've been reading it on the bus, so it comes in spurts), and my natural inclination is to point out all the flaws in their arguments. Thats what they get for being so dogmatic!

[lauradi7.livejournal.com]

I remember a La Leche meeting at which a kid refused the breast offered to him and said that he wanted the other one. He was beyond toddler age, and I remember thinking that if he was old enough to be obnoxious to his mother, he was old enough to stop deriving nourishment from her.

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

Hi there! Are you a juggler friend?

Heh, yeah, the old "that one is vanilla and this one is chocolate" routine.

[lauradi7.livejournal.com]

Married to alewbel. I met you for a few seconds (probably literally) in Portland. You also have some puzzle friends in common with
callyperry, who is a real life friend of ours.

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool! Small world, indeed. Hope you and your sweetie are doing well, and that our paths cross at another fest in the future!

[qarin.livejournal.com]

I wasn't there, so I can't really make a call on whether he was being obnoxious, but with the information I have, I don't see it. I was never breastfed, so I don't know, and most of the people I know don't remember enough about nursing (including my 5.5 year old, who certainly remembers nursing) to say, so how do I know that one side isn't different from the other? Certainly I know that when I pumped, one side let down more easily and produced more milk- perhaps at times that side would be preferable (maybe when quite hungry), while at other times the other side would be preferred (looking for comfort and a little milk, not for a huge fast meal).

Also, not really seeing the connection between "obnoxious" and "not allowed to derive nourishment", in any case, even if he was being directly and intentionally obnoxious.

[mh75.livejournal.com]

well, with none of us being there, of course we can't say. But, i can completely see a toddler aged kid being obnoxious, demanding, and manipulative in terms of how they use breast feeding. It probably weighs into your personal decision about whether or not to wean (or, perhaps more likely, into what sort of limits you put on breast feeding).

[lauradi7.livejournal.com]

That was the vibe I got.

[uncanny-npl.livejournal.com]

Just to throw this in: I breastfed both my girls till they were three or three-and-a-half. Maybe four, in Hannah's case, since she seemed to need it so much, as a cocoon-ish respite from an overstimulating world, and it was also one of our warmest and only surefire ways of bonding. (Hannah was autistic.) In each case they gradually weaned themselves rather than my weaning them. And it honestly never entered my mind to wonder what society might think of it all--mostly because I was too isolated and naive at the time to imagine them caring one way or another. Anyway, whatever process seems natural and instinctive is probably right, I imagine. Like toilet training--which also came late here--it's nothing to feel pressured about.