Lots of up and a big down
Sep. 2nd, 2006 10:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mamagotchaLots of good things happened today: Bill and Linc and I walked down to Brookside for the farmers' market, we had breakfast at a new restaurant, we made a yummy chicken potpie together, then Julia watched Linc so Bill and I could go see "Little Miss Sunshine," and on the way home we decided to check out another new place near our house (sushi! open until 11pm! IN WALKING DISTANCE!)...
But one really sad thing happened, and it's been a cloud over me all day.
So on the way home after breakfast, I'm pushing the stroller and Bill and Linc are ahead of me, walking on a sidewalk. We've just crossed a quiet, tree-dappled street, crickets chirping, about 70 degrees, a really lovely morning. Bill turns to me and makes a sad face, gesturing to the street just behind me and to my right.
I turn and see a young (but not baby) squirrel, pulling itself in circles on the street. Apparently the back legs aren't working. I turn back to Bill, he shrugs and turns back to catch up with Linc. My legs are still walking towards him, but I knew... I just KNEW... I could not leave that animal in the street to be run over again (or worse, to just pull himself into a gutter and slowly die).
I pulled a newspaper out of the diaper bag, and went back to get him. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him... I've killed rabbits before by breaking their necks, for butchering, but that was about 25 years ago and I was really not sure if I could do it. I looked at the little guy, and he's scrambling to get away... he's got a wound on the top of his head, on the left side, and his right eye is abraded, clouded, can't close. He's bleeding a little from his mouth but nowhere else I can see.
What do I do? I'm honestly not sure. Step on his head? I just can't do it. I don't know why. I decide to just wrap him up, and tuck him in the stroller and bring him home. I figured, if he was run over, he's got some major internal damage and it's just a matter of time, anyway. At first, I just hold him in the newspaper... he's actually fighting pretty hard, but just to get away, not to bite me or anything.
I tuck him into the stroller, and at first I think I'm witnessing his death... he's stretched out, doing what looks like stovepipe breathing, but then he relaxes and just huddles in the paper. I'm worried that I should have just left him alone, but when I talk gently to him, he does relax and I think he's glad to have the paper around and over him... a dark space to hide in. I try to walk with the stroller, but it's bumping and I know he's hurting bad. I suddenly remember the Lakeside Nature Center, that they have a wildlife rescue program. I call them on my cell phone.
I ask what the best way to kill him would be, and they offer to euthanize him with a shot if I can bring him in. Whew. It drags out his suffering for another 15 minutes, but then I don't have to be the one to kill him. I call Bill and ask him to bring the van, because I think the stroller is just too rough (it's a very old and cracked street). He comes and I give him the stroller, wrapping the squirrel up in one of Linc's baby blankets. He struggles on the transfer from paper to blanket, but he didn't move at all once I wrapped him up and tucked him into the front seat. I could see his good eye, and he was watching me, but he didn't fight anymore.
I thought perhaps he'd died on the drive over, but when we got there, he was still breathing and looking around. I gave him to a lady who looked like a ranger, and she took him into the center. I waited at the desk for the blanket back, and wondered what would happen to the little guy.
She came back, and gave me the bloody blanket (really, not that much blood, but several spots here and there). She said she didn't euthanize him right away, that the doctor was going to look at him in a few minutes. I asked if there was some wild chance he'd actually make it, what with the back legs not working? She said she hadn't noticed that, and if so, they probably would have to euthanize him... but if there was any hope of recovery, they would do their best to help him here. It didn't even occur to me on the drive over that he could be saved...
I asked if there was some way to find out what happened to him, and she attached a postcard to his paperwork and said they'd mail it to me to let me know. I gave her a $30 donation to the center... not much, I know, but I don't know what our financial situation is at the moment and didn't want to put us in danger of overdrawing our account. Still, if they wind up euthanizing him, that should cover his expenses, I hope.
When I got home, I was still shaking and upset. I'm angry at whoever did this to the squirrel and just left him to die. And I just kept thinking, what if that were me? or one of my kids? I would want someone, anyone, to stop and try to help, and if we were dying, just to be kind to us in our last few moments, give us some soft words, a quiet place, some shelter, some caring.
This poor little guy really shook up my whole day. I can't feel too bad, though... his was far worse than mine.
But one really sad thing happened, and it's been a cloud over me all day.
So on the way home after breakfast, I'm pushing the stroller and Bill and Linc are ahead of me, walking on a sidewalk. We've just crossed a quiet, tree-dappled street, crickets chirping, about 70 degrees, a really lovely morning. Bill turns to me and makes a sad face, gesturing to the street just behind me and to my right.
I turn and see a young (but not baby) squirrel, pulling itself in circles on the street. Apparently the back legs aren't working. I turn back to Bill, he shrugs and turns back to catch up with Linc. My legs are still walking towards him, but I knew... I just KNEW... I could not leave that animal in the street to be run over again (or worse, to just pull himself into a gutter and slowly die).
I pulled a newspaper out of the diaper bag, and went back to get him. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him... I've killed rabbits before by breaking their necks, for butchering, but that was about 25 years ago and I was really not sure if I could do it. I looked at the little guy, and he's scrambling to get away... he's got a wound on the top of his head, on the left side, and his right eye is abraded, clouded, can't close. He's bleeding a little from his mouth but nowhere else I can see.
What do I do? I'm honestly not sure. Step on his head? I just can't do it. I don't know why. I decide to just wrap him up, and tuck him in the stroller and bring him home. I figured, if he was run over, he's got some major internal damage and it's just a matter of time, anyway. At first, I just hold him in the newspaper... he's actually fighting pretty hard, but just to get away, not to bite me or anything.
I tuck him into the stroller, and at first I think I'm witnessing his death... he's stretched out, doing what looks like stovepipe breathing, but then he relaxes and just huddles in the paper. I'm worried that I should have just left him alone, but when I talk gently to him, he does relax and I think he's glad to have the paper around and over him... a dark space to hide in. I try to walk with the stroller, but it's bumping and I know he's hurting bad. I suddenly remember the Lakeside Nature Center, that they have a wildlife rescue program. I call them on my cell phone.
I ask what the best way to kill him would be, and they offer to euthanize him with a shot if I can bring him in. Whew. It drags out his suffering for another 15 minutes, but then I don't have to be the one to kill him. I call Bill and ask him to bring the van, because I think the stroller is just too rough (it's a very old and cracked street). He comes and I give him the stroller, wrapping the squirrel up in one of Linc's baby blankets. He struggles on the transfer from paper to blanket, but he didn't move at all once I wrapped him up and tucked him into the front seat. I could see his good eye, and he was watching me, but he didn't fight anymore.
I thought perhaps he'd died on the drive over, but when we got there, he was still breathing and looking around. I gave him to a lady who looked like a ranger, and she took him into the center. I waited at the desk for the blanket back, and wondered what would happen to the little guy.
She came back, and gave me the bloody blanket (really, not that much blood, but several spots here and there). She said she didn't euthanize him right away, that the doctor was going to look at him in a few minutes. I asked if there was some wild chance he'd actually make it, what with the back legs not working? She said she hadn't noticed that, and if so, they probably would have to euthanize him... but if there was any hope of recovery, they would do their best to help him here. It didn't even occur to me on the drive over that he could be saved...
I asked if there was some way to find out what happened to him, and she attached a postcard to his paperwork and said they'd mail it to me to let me know. I gave her a $30 donation to the center... not much, I know, but I don't know what our financial situation is at the moment and didn't want to put us in danger of overdrawing our account. Still, if they wind up euthanizing him, that should cover his expenses, I hope.
When I got home, I was still shaking and upset. I'm angry at whoever did this to the squirrel and just left him to die. And I just kept thinking, what if that were me? or one of my kids? I would want someone, anyone, to stop and try to help, and if we were dying, just to be kind to us in our last few moments, give us some soft words, a quiet place, some shelter, some caring.
This poor little guy really shook up my whole day. I can't feel too bad, though... his was far worse than mine.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-03 06:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-03 06:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-03 03:36 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-03 04:51 pm (UTC)It is a simple but deeply painful kindness to step out of your safe place in the world to help a tiny damaged one, even if it is only to help them pass on. Such amazing little fur creatures but not amazing enough to have evolved taking in what cars(and other wheeled dangers) are and do yet. It burns me up when people call them "suicides" in the road. How could the little ones understand? We have changed their environments so swiftly.
Thank you for lending hand to the unfortunate one.
$30 is a great gift to an agency. The much greater gift was your time and compassion though.