Progress at last!

[mamagotcha]

I've been following the suggestions from this website that discusses the difficulties of losing weight gained during or after a person takes antidepressants.

I went through the science of the thing with Bill, who isn't a nutritionist or endocrinologist, but he was able to confirm that the ideas presented weren't completely fabricated from goat entrails and stardust.

The site says only 30% of the folks following the plan will see weight loss, but that's decent odds. I've been doing it for a few weeks, and wondering if I was going to be lucky or not.

I'm still eating and working out pretty much the same way I've been since the beginning of September. I had little to no loss all the way through most of November (about 3-5 lbs)... but suddenly, this last week, the scales are finally finally finally moving!

I might go get a good scale... ours is one of those electronic things that give a different number every time you step on it. I usually weigh myself about five times and sort of take the average... the range is about 5 lbs (though sometimes it's 10 or more, screwy thing). My average was 288-290 for most of those months... this last week, it's been creeping down into the 270s, and today I was seeing it bounce between 266 and 272!

I cannot begin to explain how this makes me feel. I've been doing my gym work faithfully, trying to eat mindfully, buying some new warm clothes now (instead of waiting to reward myself for losing weight), doing my best to convince myself that I'm doing this for health and not numbers on a scale...

But it's a big fat lie. When you're fat, you are considered a second class citizen. You're automatically assumed to be dumb and lazy. The bigger you are, the stupider you're supposed to be. When I was smaller for a while about seven years ago, I was treated so well! Not that people are outright hostile to me... I'm a mom, and white, and obviously have enough money to not be hurting, and I know full well that those advantages all buy me a lot of social currency. But despite the ignorance and shallowness that is represented by the kinder treatment of slimmer people... I still want it. It made me feel great, and I want it again, and I can't emphasize enough how excited I am that all this work is maybe, possibly, finally going to start paying off.

I wish I was one of those emotionally balanced people who could shrug off what other people think and be content with my body and appreciate those who love me for myself and all that. But I'm not. It hurts when strangers see right through me. I'm somehow hardwired to respond to those social cues, and intellectually forcing myself to overcome them just isn't working for me.

So... I'm cautiously optimistic that perhaps I've fallen into that 30%. We'll see how it goes. Just wanted to let you guys know what was happening!

Comments

[otherwise-nyc.livejournal.com]

That's pretty exciting, about the weight loss.

I know *exactly* what you mean about how people react to you. I've been between 150 and 200 over the last few years (right now at 175), and people *do* treat you differently. Absolutely. And I agree that in our perfect heart of hearts, we *want* to not care, because after all, *those* people are the jerks, not us.

And yet we care.

*great big hug*

I just skimmed the website you suggested. I'm cautiously interested in trying it. It doesn't sound very hard to take a few supplements, and those don't sound potentially harmful. *hmmmmmm*

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

I was already taking the Omega 3s because of some joint healing issues, and I'd bought a really expensive (but not awful-tasting) version my doc had recommended, so the big outlay was already done.

I'd also been reading about leptin and its role in setting the adipose tissue storage levels in our bodies, about a year ago, but the concept of resetting those pointers with antidepressants was new. The bummer is that other things can reset them, so if it wasn't the antidepressants, the supplements might not help (or not very much).

One study the site quoted from was about extended breastfeeding associated with a healthy leptin level as an adult. So at least I'm hopefully helping the kids avoid some of my problems down the road.

Thanks for the hug, and I'd love to hear about your experiences with this program if you decide to dive in.

[via-lens.livejournal.com]

Good for you! Yes, it does feel good.

I'm at the upper bound of what's considered a healthy BMI for my height, which I think is stupid because I think I'm at a pretty good weight. Part of my reason to want to do the triathlon this year is that I figure that kind of training will push me to the next level of fitness, and it might at least put me in the last of my clothes I've hung on to that no longer fit. Whatever it takes to motivate, use it. If it's the scale, use it -- if it's new clothes, use those. I believe you can do it.

When I used depo-provera in the 90s it destroyed my ability to metabolize vitamin B and made me gain 40 pounds. It took me years to get that weight off, and literally the second I had, I got pregnant. So it's not just antidepressants that women take that cause these kinds of problems for us.

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

There was evidence on this site that showed a number of people who had been prescribed antidepressants decided not to take them because of weight gain. While I think that antidepressants are probably far overused, it's sad to think that perhaps there are people who really could benefit eschewing them merely because of approval of their appearance.

I bet even pregnancy does wonderful long-term things to our metabolism.

Hope you're having fun with Bill & Linc! Ask him to please take a picture of you and Logan for our wall of fame, OK? The old one is a bit outdated.