I think I glimpsed my future yesterday...

[mamagotcha]

... and it wasn't so bad!

I was at a park day yesterday, and met a lovely lady knitting on a fabulous colorwork sweater of her own design. She was perhaps in her mid-to-late 50s, obviously comfortable in her cronehood, wearing a t-shirt featuring a cascade of skulls, talking about her Harry Potter group on Ravelry. A lovely older geeky nerdy gal who sings in her local UU choir, paganish, volunteers at the arboretum, was involved in the creation of the only Sudbury school in Chicago as well as unschooling; her older kids are now mostly grown and gone.

She was funny, happy in her skin, warm and welcoming, smart and sassy... I hope we're going to be friends. Most of the folks I meet through my kids are much younger (I had Linc when I was 41), and while they've been wonderful people to get to know... there's an element of looking ahead, too.

My first midwife, Tosi, was probably the closest thing I've had to an older friend and mentor, back in Davis. I don't think I really developed one in Kansas City (though I think I used Tosi's great example to maybe be a help to a few other younger women, which also felt great). But I've missed having someone a little further along the path than me, or even struggling with similar issues at the same time... kightp, uncanny_npl, paulaandandrew, and essaying have been my virtual great examples of older women embracing their age with grace, strength, humor and style; but IRL I just haven't met many older women that I see and think, "I wanna grow up to be HER!"

Friendships with older women were something I didn't even really realize I was missing. Maybe I need to put some energy into actively pursuing them... hmm. Something to think about, at any rate.

Comments

[3squares-a-day.livejournal.com]

Wonderful food for thought. I love Tosi, it feels so nice to be around her... I do have my mom, we hang out several times a week while we walk on the treadmill at the gym, but I can't tell her everything! (She gets embarrassed! lol)

[(Anonymous)]

The future, it is now! From here, anyway. :) Lovely lady, check! paganish, check! unschooler, check! geeky nerdy, check! :) And yup, you were a great help to this younger KC woman! I wish you luck finding someone.

<3, Monica

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

I like this post.

I get a huge amount out of knowing women who are sort of ahead of where I am in life. Not all of them are older than me chronologically, because I feel like I started over a number of times, but some are. They are forging territory and leaving trails. :)

older friends

[(Anonymous)]

At first when you said mid to late 50's I thought to myself that's not old. But then again that's my age range. I too had a child at 41 and although I am in my upper 50's I think he keeps me younger. But I agree with having older friends and mentors. I'm lucky that I live next door to one. As a retired biology teacher she is amazingly energetic and curious. She has taught me so much about gardening. She's feisty, especially after a glass a wine. And if you need something done in the neighborhood she knows who to call.

Re: older friends

[mamagotcha.livejournal.com]

I didn't say mid to late 50s was old, it's just older than I am right now. I know plenty of folks in their 40s who seem OLD, and a goodly number of 70+ folks who are going gangbusters. State of mind? Genetics? Pure luck? Whatever it is, sign me up!

(PS: do I know you? I want to!)

[elainetyger.livejournal.com]

I didn't think Uncanny was much if any older than we are.

[uncanny-npl.livejournal.com]

Just now catching up with livejournal after weeks of not looking. Darling Gotcha, I'm very pleased to be counted among your older friends who've embraced their cronehood. Me, I haven't just embraced it, I've got it in a stranglehold and I'm not letting go. It's such a huge step up from my former phase--"dilapidated coquetry". For one thing, you get to stop shaving your legs.

Sweet Tyger, I *am* old. I know it must seem incredible, but I'm 51, soon to be 52 (an age I'm looking forward to mostly because of the super-cool deck-of-cards connection). That's not really old, I realize. But somehow I like to think of it as ancient, and I like to think it's brought me serenity and wisdom. I like, most of all, to think of myself as having risen above the fray. Because it turns out I never really liked the fray--all that hope, longing, neediness, upheaval. So I've left all that behind, or, anyway, I *say* I have--which, for me, has always been the first important step toward actually *doing* something.

I'll try to keep you posted on all my changes, and I love that you've included me in the circle with whom you share all of yours.

[elainetyger.livejournal.com]

You see? You're not even 5 years older than I am. I have some wisdom, bloody little serenity, and enjoyment of a good 95% of the roller coaster ride of hope, longing, neediness, and upheaval. The way I feel right now, I will shave my legs when I'm 90 if I can still bend over that far and if it keeps the coaster rolling.

You are not old. You can claim mature, but not old yet.