I don't know, either, and I think that's part of what is making me feel frustrated. I think access to information regarding pretty much any decision, especially when it pertains to you and your children's well-being, should be free and simple to obtain, and it's just NOT.
It's one thing if people consciously choose something different than I (or you, or whomever) would because they researched the options and weighed the benefits vs. the costs. That, I have learned, I can live with and support as a hired doula (mostly... for example, I probably wouldn't agree to serve as a birth attendant for someone who is planning to do something I think is potentially really dangerous, such as a homebirth for a woman who is staring pre-eclampsia in the face. Would I support her right to do it, even if I would not endorse or participate? Erm... let's tackle that one another day, 'k?).
But it's another thing entirely if people are forced into making a certain decision, even if I (or you, or whomever) think it's a good one, without adequate access to information regarding the other potential options.
If there's one thing I've learned at the small number of births I've been fortunate enough to be invited to, it's that there are no "good" or "bad" decisions. There are only the parents' decisions. My job, as a doula, is to help them have as many resources possible to make those decisions, and then to implement them.
What drives me crazy is when the parents don't get the opportunity to make a decision... when the doctor (or the insurance company or the hospital's legal department or – IME, rarely, because mostly they seem to be down with the whole informed-consent thing – midwives) dictates from on high what is Going To Happen. When that occurs, I do my level best to (quietly) inform the parents of what their true options are, even if (heck, ESPECIALLY if!) they are counter to what has been dictated.
Sometimes the parents are willing to challenge the authority (in which case I get to help them do that as diplomatically as possible or else I get kicked out of the room while they are treated like dirt for the rest of their birth experience, something I've been threatened with and heard about from other doulas, but luckily haven't had happen to me... yet), and sometimes they aren't (and then I get lots of practice in tongue-biting and polite smiling and silent hex-casting).
It makes me furious, though, that anyone even HAS to raise a challenge for what should be a basic right: access to complete and clear information regarding their options in a birth setting. I can help, most of the time, as a doula, on a one-to-one basis... but how can I best use my talents, such as they are, to widen that field? Therein, I suspect, lies my own challenge.
And I want to say that I'm really glad to hear that you are happy with your birth experience. I wish I'd been able to be of more help, both before and after your birth... not because I think you needed it, but because it would have been awesome to witness your transformation into the mama you are now!
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Date: 2007-12-16 09:15 am (UTC)It's one thing if people consciously choose something different than I (or you, or whomever) would because they researched the options and weighed the benefits vs. the costs. That, I have learned, I can live with and support as a hired doula (mostly... for example, I probably wouldn't agree to serve as a birth attendant for someone who is planning to do something I think is potentially really dangerous, such as a homebirth for a woman who is staring pre-eclampsia in the face. Would I support her right to do it, even if I would not endorse or participate? Erm... let's tackle that one another day, 'k?).
But it's another thing entirely if people are forced into making a certain decision, even if I (or you, or whomever) think it's a good one, without adequate access to information regarding the other potential options.
If there's one thing I've learned at the small number of births I've been fortunate enough to be invited to, it's that there are no "good" or "bad" decisions. There are only the parents' decisions. My job, as a doula, is to help them have as many resources possible to make those decisions, and then to implement them.
What drives me crazy is when the parents don't get the opportunity to make a decision... when the doctor (or the insurance company or the hospital's legal department or – IME, rarely, because mostly they seem to be down with the whole informed-consent thing – midwives) dictates from on high what is Going To Happen. When that occurs, I do my level best to (quietly) inform the parents of what their true options are, even if (heck, ESPECIALLY if!) they are counter to what has been dictated.
Sometimes the parents are willing to challenge the authority (in which case I get to help them do that as diplomatically as possible or else I get kicked out of the room while they are treated like dirt for the rest of their birth experience, something I've been threatened with and heard about from other doulas, but luckily haven't had happen to me... yet), and sometimes they aren't (and then I get lots of practice in tongue-biting and polite smiling and silent hex-casting).
It makes me furious, though, that anyone even HAS to raise a challenge for what should be a basic right: access to complete and clear information regarding their options in a birth setting. I can help, most of the time, as a doula, on a one-to-one basis... but how can I best use my talents, such as they are, to widen that field? Therein, I suspect, lies my own challenge.
And I want to say that I'm really glad to hear that you are happy with your birth experience. I wish I'd been able to be of more help, both before and after your birth... not because I think you needed it, but because it would have been awesome to witness your transformation into the mama you are now!