beware the groove...

[mamagotcha]

lately i've been knocked out of the groove i was in... i was really staying on top of all the household crap, like shopping and cleaning and laundry. but i've found that i don't have enough time in my life to do both the house and something creative... if i start anything, the house goes to shit in about ten minutes. what's really frustrating is that, with a little effort on their parts, the slack could easily be picked up by the kids, but since they don't give a damn about the house, it's more work to get them off their butts than it is to do the thing i want them to do myself. argh.

and sometimes i resent that i have to choose between having a nice, well-stocked, clean house or doing something i really want to do (lately i'm feeling pulled to make a film, do some gardening, or knit something really cool). as it is, i struggle along doing bits of everything and nothing really gets done all the way. do you have to have a crappy-looking house to be an artist? can i write more than one paragraph a day without blowing up at a kid? am i an idiot to think i can pull off a film while having any semblance of a family life? argh again.

bill's been playing a LOT of an online game lately; he's been bending over backwards to try to not let it get in the way of things, but i miss him. i hope it loses the gloss soon.

running out of batteries, will try to give you a montage of the last few days: trying to get the road trip together... gotta get some plants in the ground before they keel over... front tires are bald; must get new ones... did some baking and shopping with clayton today; he's really a fun kid to hang out with... julia seemed to do well and have fun at a leadership conference yesterday; hope she's inspired to apply for scholarships... lincoln looks like crawling is coming up soon; he tried yogurt today and liked it... visited an art faire yesterday and wasn't tempted to buy anything (other than a hot dog)... considering joining a YMCA so clay has a pool and i have exercise equipment with childcare... watched "zoolander" again, bill hadn't seen it and really loved it... "i (heart) huckabee's" is next on the queue... was really bored listening to peoples' "religious odysseys" at the UU church today, am afraid to bore others with mine but it's required...

g'night.

Comments

[mh75.livejournal.com]

You know, the best way i've found not to be bitter at Josh spending lots of time playing an on-line game is to play with him. It does two thing - i get to spend that time with him so i'm enjoying his company instead of missing it, and also he is better at limiting his involvement with the game to the amount of time i want to spend. Its had the side effect of making him happy enough with me that he is enthusiastic about trying my own half-baked activity ideas.

The game in question, particularly, i find to be welcoming and suprisingly engaging. While i thought i would find an on-line game to be incredibly annoying, i find that i'm really enjoying our on-line company. Probably because we have so many friends who also play, and who join us on-line for conversation and fun.

I don't think you have to have a crappy looking house to spend time on your own projects, but you may have to relax your standards regarding whats strictly necessary to have a comfortable house. I hate that our house is as messy and disorganized as it is, but i'm happy as long as we are making an effort and maintaining some progress.

anyway. *hug*
I hope something great happens this week to make you feel good.