mamagotcha (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mamagotcha) wrote2007-11-30 09:50 am
mamagotcha) wrote2007-11-30 09:50 am
Progress at last!
I've been following the suggestions from this website that discusses the difficulties of losing weight gained during or after a person takes antidepressants.
I went through the science of the thing with Bill, who isn't a nutritionist or endocrinologist, but he was able to confirm that the ideas presented weren't completely fabricated from goat entrails and stardust.
The site says only 30% of the folks following the plan will see weight loss, but that's decent odds. I've been doing it for a few weeks, and wondering if I was going to be lucky or not.
I'm still eating and working out pretty much the same way I've been since the beginning of September. I had little to no loss all the way through most of November (about 3-5 lbs)... but suddenly, this last week, the scales are finally finally finally moving!
I might go get a good scale... ours is one of those electronic things that give a different number every time you step on it. I usually weigh myself about five times and sort of take the average... the range is about 5 lbs (though sometimes it's 10 or more, screwy thing). My average was 288-290 for most of those months... this last week, it's been creeping down into the 270s, and today I was seeing it bounce between 266 and 272!
I cannot begin to explain how this makes me feel. I've been doing my gym work faithfully, trying to eat mindfully, buying some new warm clothes now (instead of waiting to reward myself for losing weight), doing my best to convince myself that I'm doing this for health and not numbers on a scale...
But it's a big fat lie. When you're fat, you are considered a second class citizen. You're automatically assumed to be dumb and lazy. The bigger you are, the stupider you're supposed to be. When I was smaller for a while about seven years ago, I was treated so well! Not that people are outright hostile to me... I'm a mom, and white, and obviously have enough money to not be hurting, and I know full well that those advantages all buy me a lot of social currency. But despite the ignorance and shallowness that is represented by the kinder treatment of slimmer people... I still want it. It made me feel great, and I want it again, and I can't emphasize enough how excited I am that all this work is maybe, possibly, finally going to start paying off.
I wish I was one of those emotionally balanced people who could shrug off what other people think and be content with my body and appreciate those who love me for myself and all that. But I'm not. It hurts when strangers see right through me. I'm somehow hardwired to respond to those social cues, and intellectually forcing myself to overcome them just isn't working for me.
So... I'm cautiously optimistic that perhaps I've fallen into that 30%. We'll see how it goes. Just wanted to let you guys know what was happening!
I went through the science of the thing with Bill, who isn't a nutritionist or endocrinologist, but he was able to confirm that the ideas presented weren't completely fabricated from goat entrails and stardust.
The site says only 30% of the folks following the plan will see weight loss, but that's decent odds. I've been doing it for a few weeks, and wondering if I was going to be lucky or not.
I'm still eating and working out pretty much the same way I've been since the beginning of September. I had little to no loss all the way through most of November (about 3-5 lbs)... but suddenly, this last week, the scales are finally finally finally moving!
I might go get a good scale... ours is one of those electronic things that give a different number every time you step on it. I usually weigh myself about five times and sort of take the average... the range is about 5 lbs (though sometimes it's 10 or more, screwy thing). My average was 288-290 for most of those months... this last week, it's been creeping down into the 270s, and today I was seeing it bounce between 266 and 272!
I cannot begin to explain how this makes me feel. I've been doing my gym work faithfully, trying to eat mindfully, buying some new warm clothes now (instead of waiting to reward myself for losing weight), doing my best to convince myself that I'm doing this for health and not numbers on a scale...
But it's a big fat lie. When you're fat, you are considered a second class citizen. You're automatically assumed to be dumb and lazy. The bigger you are, the stupider you're supposed to be. When I was smaller for a while about seven years ago, I was treated so well! Not that people are outright hostile to me... I'm a mom, and white, and obviously have enough money to not be hurting, and I know full well that those advantages all buy me a lot of social currency. But despite the ignorance and shallowness that is represented by the kinder treatment of slimmer people... I still want it. It made me feel great, and I want it again, and I can't emphasize enough how excited I am that all this work is maybe, possibly, finally going to start paying off.
I wish I was one of those emotionally balanced people who could shrug off what other people think and be content with my body and appreciate those who love me for myself and all that. But I'm not. It hurts when strangers see right through me. I'm somehow hardwired to respond to those social cues, and intellectually forcing myself to overcome them just isn't working for me.
So... I'm cautiously optimistic that perhaps I've fallen into that 30%. We'll see how it goes. Just wanted to let you guys know what was happening!