ext_98109 ([identity profile] nplloquacious.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] mamagotcha 2010-06-15 05:26 pm (UTC)

Modern Culture and Teenagers PART TWO

Continuing...

I recently re-watched Master and Commander which sort of shows life on an early 19th century British war ship. Midshipmen were young, really young... maybe nine to twelve... and they would learn how to take the ship's position (involving math and mechanics) or how manage a crew to load a canon. A sixteen-year-old would be given tasks like leading men into battle, fighting hand-to-hand themselves, dying, suffering amputation... Imagine. A talented teen might even be given command of their own ship. Not exactly World of Warfare and a joint.

I use that Hollywood fiction merely to offer an easy way to see how the people we call children today (at sixteen? really?) were treated in that era and culture and the expectations that were put upon them a mere two centuries ago.

The thing is, this treat-a-teen like a six-year-old thing is so very modern, so recent, as to be downright scary when seen in light of the history of human culture -- around the world. I do not think there is another culture today that infantilizes their teens to the extent that the USA does and I think we are losing our guts and our drive in the process. It takes a certain toughness to face the hardships and tragedies that happen in a life. We are doing our children no favors by forcing them to be children when they are actually young adults.

It needs to stop. We need to teach our children much, much better at home, no matter what kind of school they attend, how to be an adult. Teens need their parents to guide and assist them as they learn how to cope with the real problems of adulthood like money, jobs, sex, taxes, legalities, relationships, budgeting, and so much more. Much as anyone might wish for a world of peace and harmony, our children do grow up to live in a world that is anything but that.

Nor do we do them any service by protecting them from any hurt, injury, or disappointment as they grow up or by refusing them access to answers. How do I learn how to deal with problems if I am never allowed to have any?

I hope Clay has a phenomenal time with all sorts of experiences that range from really hard work and challenge to pure joy and pleasure. That is what we can have when we know it is there for us. We cannot know what we do not know and how do we discover what we do not know? I think it is by taking risks and trusting our kids because we trust ourselves as parents.

Sorry for the length but you really did trigger all of this. Thanks again.

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