Artist's Way ponderings

[mamagotcha]

So I've (mostly) been doing my Morning Pages, and trying to do the little tasks suggested at the ends of each chapter. I'm a little disappointed with the emphasis on material things, fueling desire, wish lists, pining for what cannot be due to money, luck, circumstances. It seems so counterproductive, after spending all these years letting go (of things, places, and people), learning that acquisition does not lead to happiness, that I don't get to live where I want to and learning how to bloom where I'm planted. I've been seeking joys, not toys... and I see the way of gratitude, pronoia, and accountability are the keys.

I'm not a good buddhist by any means... my practice of meditation, yoga, and the other introspective arts are extremely spotty at best... but I'm far enough along the path to know that by falling back into the pools of desire will not get me any closer to contentment, peace or joy.

Am I totally off-base about all this? Is it really true that I need to cultivate yearning to be an artist? I'd like to hear about this from those who have done the course.

Of course, the whole "god" thing is pretty ridiculous to me, too. As Edna Mole said, "Luck favors the prepared, darling." I do think we can bring ourselves to better awareness of the abundance around us... just peek at a dumpster sometime... and take advantage of serendipity, chances, all the opportunities the universe has to offer us. Calling that consciousness "god" feels false to me, though.

So far... taking what works, leaving the rest, hoping it's enough to break my stupid grip on a self-view that I can't do fiction. Thanks for any insights you choose to share...